The Pyschotherapy of the Most Notorious Musical Villains
by Lone-Soprano-Of-Sopranoland
Summary: Inspired by Pyscho-therapy of the Opera Ghost, and a second chance at my previous therapy fic. The villians, anti-heroes and their victims are all getting the help they so desperately need, but don't necessarily deserve. Leave your suggestions in the review box or PM me!
1. Chapter 1

**Hi, this is Soprano giving you another spoof! Tell me if you like it, or not!**

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_Chapter One: Getting to know each other:_

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Dr. Rafiya: So how has everyone's day been?

Jekyll: Sublime, thank you very much.

Hyde: Shut up.

Phantom/ Erik: ...

Sweeney: (plays with his shaving knives)

The Beast: Why are we here again?

Dr. Rafiya: You are here because, all of y'all have some serious issues you need to take care of.

Frollo: I am guiltless!

The Beast: Yeah, I didn't even kill anyone.

Dr. Rafiya: Yes... But you have potential.

Javert: Neither did I.

Dr. Rafiya: You both have potiental.

Hyde, The Phantom, Sweeney Todd, and Frollo: Neither did w- oh wait...

Dr. Rafiya: Yeah... so before we do anything else, we should get to know each other, don't you think?

(Silence)

Dr. Rafiya: Let's start with you... masked guy, with the Indiana Jones hat.

Phantom: Why did you call me that? You used to live with me.

Everyone: (creepy side-ways stare)

Dr. Rafiya: Not like that... that was years ago... Now back to the subject: What's your name?

Phantom: I don't see the point in this...

Dr. Rafiya: Just say it!

Phantom: My name is Erik.

Dr. Rafiya: Good... and you, yeah, you on the left, Edward Scissorhands, pay attention.

Sweeney: It's Sweeney Todd. Thank you very much...

Dr. Rafiya: Yeah, I know who you are, I know who all of y'all are.

Frollo: Then why ask us?

Dr. Rafiya: Because the idea was to get you guys to get to know each other but since that's obviously not working (pulls out a ball) we're gonna play a game.

Frollo: I do not understand why I must be here, among this squall of pagans, monsters, and the dregs of human life.

Sweeney: At least I don't wear a dress!

Frollo: It's a robe, not a dress, you imbecile!

Sweeney: (getting really angry) Who ya calling im-

Dr. Rafiya: (steps between them) I really don't think that this is necessary- (takes Sweeeney's knives) I think that 'these' (holds them up) won't be helping you. Now back to our game-

Frollo: Games? I have no time for games, gypsy.

Dr. Rafiya: One: Rascist. Two: Yes, we're playing a game. This should help you guys get to know each other. Now each of you guys will throw the ball at someone, and say their name while doing so. Now the point of this is to quickly memorize each others names. Okay?

Hyde: This is so stupid.

Jekyll: I think its a splendid idea.

Hyde: Shut up!

Jekyll: No, you shut up!

Javert: And they thought I had problems...

The Beast: Does he count as one person or two?

Dr. Rafiya: One. Now let's start. (throws the ball to the Phantom) Erik.

Erik: This is stupid.

Dr. Rafiya: Just throw it!

Erik: (throws it to the Beast) Chewbacca.

Beast: Hey!

Dr. Rafiya: Just please keep going.

Beast: (throws it to Frollo) Dress mess.

Frollo: (lets the ball roll past him)

Dr. Rafiya: What did you do that for?

Frollo: (crosses arms) I refuse to touch something that was handled by a monster.

Dr. Rafiya: (duct-tapes his mouth shut) This should fix some stuff.

Frollo: Mhhh-hunhhh!

Hyde: (picks up ball, and pegs Sweeney with it)

Sweeney: What was that for?

Jekyll: I am truly sorr-

Hyde: Can we do that again?

Dr. Rafiya: No! Just throw the blasted ball!

Frollo: Hmmhhhuunnnhhh!

Dr. Rafiya: I give up.

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Christine: He's everywhere! (starts rocking back and forth in fetal position)

Johanna: (hugs her) I know... I know...

Emma: I can't believe he cheated on me...

Lucy: (tying to cut herself with printer paper) Nothing's worth it.

Belle and Fantine: I know, right...(mimic her)

(All start wailing)

Esmerelda: What a bunch of hot messes... (blows bubble gum and starts texting)

Dr. Rafiya: (walks in) Oh my Lord. I leave for five minutes, and this happens...

Belle: I'm never gonna see my Papa again! (starts bawling into her apron) And the clock won't stop complaining.

Dr. Rafiya: (takes all the paper away) I think that this won't help the situation. (rips it up)

Everyone: NO!

Dr. Rafiya: Now let's all calm down... and let us begin.

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**I hope you guys like it! Please R&amp;R! And Follow/ Favorite! **

**Soprano**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello, again, ever****body! I'm soo happy you guys like this fic! Here's another chapter from yours truly! I'm soooo sorry for the long update. Life happened. That's all I can say.**

**P.S. Dr. Rafiya is a girl. She kind of looks like Utterson, if he had a kid, but with green eyes. I just don't want you guys to get confused later... and she's straight... again for future referances.**

**ON WITH THE CHAPTER!**

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_Chapter Two: On the Importance of Eye Contact:_

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Dr. Rafiya: Okay... Yesterday was... interesting.

Sweeney Todd: That ugly mutt over there put my hand in a sling!

Beast: You tried to shave me!

Dr. Rafiya: Let's let go of the past, okay?

Everyone: ...Fine.

Dr. Rafiya: Good, now I have another game we could play.

Erik: Aww...come on!

Javert: All the "games" we play end up a diaster!

Dr. Rafiya: And whose fault is that?

(They all point to random people in the circle)

Dr. Rafiya: The faster we do this, the faster we can go home. Now Frollo stand across from the Beast-

Frollo: I refuse to put myself in any proximity with that demonic creature. And I don't take orders from gypsies.

Dr. Rafiya: Not every person with dark skin is a gypsy!

Frollo: Hmph!

Dr. Rafiya: You know, that 60 year prison sentance could go up if you don't do this.

Frollo: Fine. (Stands 10 feet away from the Beast.)

Dr. Rafiya: Phantom, stand across from Javert.

Phantom: (starts moving) This is stupid.

Javert: I know, right?

Dr. Rafiya: Jekyll and Hyde across from Sweeney Todd.

Jekyll: I just love experimenting with the human physi-

Hyde: Shut up.

Jekyll: No, you shut up!

Sweeney: And I thought I had issues...

Dr. Rafiya: There. That should be good. Now move one step to each other.

(Move)

Dr. Rafiya: Closer.

(Move)

Dr. Rafiya: Like three huge steps foreward.

Sweeney: This seems so wrong, on so many leve-

Dr. Rafiya: Just stop complaining, and move closer!

(They all run into each other)

Javert: You can't possibly expect us to move any closer!

Dr. Rafiya: Of course I wouldn't-

Everyone: (breathes a sigh of relief)

Dr. Rafiya: Now hold hands.

Everyone: (does a double take)

Hyde: You can't be serious.

Dr. Rafiya: I am serious! Now hold hands.

(Everyone reluctantly holds hands with their partner)

Dr. Rafiya: Good. Now look into each other's eyes...

Everyone: (does a double-double take) WHAT?!

Sweeney: Y'know I like girls-

Everyone except Dr. Rafiya: Yeah, me too...

Dr. Rafiya: It's not that kind of test! The experiment is to show you the importance of eye contact!

Javert: (peering at the Phantom) You're even uglier up close...

Sweeney: At least you don't have this guy. He's twitching like a crack-head!

Hyde: Shut up!

Phantom: (punches Javert)

Dr. Rafiya: No! This isn't the point. It's supposed to be peaceful!

(Chaos breaks loose)

Dr. Rafiya: I give up. (looks at her watch and groans) Time to go and visit the girls.

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_(A couple hours later)_

Belle: (in tears) And t-th-then he took m-my father away, and I-I- can-can't leave! WAHHHH! WHY IS THE WORLD SO CRUEL!

Dr. Rafiya: (gives her and the rest of the girls a pillow) Use this to express your feelings. Non-violent confrontations are much more us-

Belle: (cries into her pillow)

Esmerelda: (steps on it)

Christine: (takes out a chainsaw)

Dr. Rafiya: Where did you even get that fro-

Fantine: (starts stabbing her pillow) And this is for arresting me...and this is for calling me a prostitute!

Lucy: (rips out the pillow stuffing with her teeth) You cheated on me with Emma! Then you... s-stabbed me! T-T-Three... #$%$#...Times!

Dr. Rafiya: You are literally just saying computer symbols right now.

Emma: (punches her pillow) You cheated on me with Lucy.

Both: You stole him from me. (cat-fight)

Meg and Esmerelda: (cat-fight)

Esmerelda: I'm the better dancer!

Meg: No! It's me!

Belle and Johanna: (play the song Jar of Hearts and cry)

Dr. Rafiya: Oh dear...

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**please R&amp;R!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello Phans! It's been far too long since I updated! And all y'all had a pretty good point about all of them being supper crazy, but honestly, I believe they would be like that. They're sociopaths. We love seeing them over-react. Don't fret though! They'll all end up together... after a lot of work and extreme training.**

**But they will all hook up! I promise!**

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_Chapter Three: On Self-Control:_

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Dr. Rafiya: (sighs and clears her throat) Okay...(picks a piece of wood out of her hair) that was still...interesting.

Phantom: I think that was an improvement.

Dr. Rafiya: (picks out a piece of glass from her hair) Where did you guys get glass? This room has no windows.

Sweeney: There's glass in the doors.

Beast: And chairs.

Jekyll: And in my glasses... (stares sadly at a pair of broken frames)

Hyde: At least you'll look less like a dork.

Jekyll: I do not look like a do-

Dr. Rafiya: Quiet, you two... or one. Not exactly sure. But I have been with you and the girls-

Jekyll: Emma?

Hyde: Lucy?

Beast: Belle?

Phantom: Christine?

Sweeney: Johanna? Lucy?

Frollo: That gypsy witch?!

Javert: Eponine?

Everyone: (scoots away from Javert) WHAT?!

Dr. Rafiya: (scribbles something in her notebook) Mhm...

Javert: I never said anything!

Phantom: Dude, she's like half your age! You have no chance!

Hyde: You're one to talk! What are you like... seventy?

Phantom: (slips lasso out of his sleeve)

Dr. Rafiya: (steps in between them) See, this is what we need to work on. You all need to calm down... like a lot.

Phantom: I'm not that old!

Dr. Rafiya: We know. But sometimes people say things they don't mean. Right?

Hyde: We all know it's the tru-

Dr. Rafiya: (points a screwdriver at him, without breaking eye contact with the Phantom)

Frollo: Rotten gyps-

Dr. Rafiya: Don't get me started. (points at Frollo)

Beast: Whose receiving the therapy exactly?

Dr. Rafiya: You. (puts screwdriver away and straightens up) Now whenever you feel like punching someone or saying a bad word, I want you to count to ten.

Beast: This is stupid.

Sweeney: I agree with the mini Appa.

Beast: Hey!

Dr. Rafiya: Remember...

Beast: (grudgingly) One... Two... Three... Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten. Hey, that actually worked!

Dr. Rafiya: Duh! I'm always right...

Phantom: Fat chance.

Frollo: You have to be joking.

Dr. Rafiya: (Looks at her phone) Oh look. I just got a tweet from Quasimodo. He left the bell-tower-

Frollo: WHAT?!

Dr. Rafiya: And he's dating Esmerelda.

Frollo: (is seething) I'm gonna ski-

Dr. Rafiya: Remember...

Frollo: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight-

Beast: This will fail.

Frollo: Nine-

Phantom: This is still the stupidest thing I've ever heard. And I heard High School Musical. (shivers)

Frollo: Ten.

Dr. Rafiya: How do you feel?

Frollo: Like killing that gypsy witch.

Phantom: See! I told you!

Dr. Rafiya: Okay...Not exactly the response I was looking for. What did you feel before?

Frollo: Like burning down all of Paris.

Dr. Rafiya: So less angry?

Frollo: I see nothing but red.

Dr. Rafiya: I'll take what I can get!

Frollo: (Storms out of the room, mumbling swear-words)

Jekyll: Did Quasimodo actually do any of that?

Dr. Rafiya: Of course not! I made it all up... Oh no! (Rushes out of the room)

Phantom: (texts)

Beast: Who are you texting?

Phantom: Quasimodo. He might want to lay low for a while.

Hyde: (raises an eyebrow) Freak alert.

Phantom: (shrugs) Ugly guys have to band together. Have you seen Frankenstein, anywhere?

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(A couple hours later)

Esmerelda: What happened to your eye?

Dr. Rafiya: (rubs her black eye) I-I ran into a pole.

Belle: Interesting pole... I don't remember poles having fists.

Christine: Are those ring marks?

Dr. Rafiya: That's not important. So have you been making any progress.

Christine: Nope. Just another music lesson.

Lucy: I got beat up again.

Emma: Good riddance, you little s-

Dr. Rafiya: Woah... Let's not use that kind of language, 'round here. Now I was just talking to the guys about this-

Meg: HE'S HERE?! THE PHANTO-

Eponine: So help me God, if you continue that sentence, I will snap you.

Everyone: Jeez... Catty.

Eponine: Sorry. Just a bit crabby from walking in the rain... AGAIN!

Dr. Rafiya: (stares at them through her good eye) I think we should all learn a new game. Its called Count-To-Ten.

Christine: Sounds stupid.

Dr. Rafiya: It's not. Let's just say, your, umm-

Christine: (dreamily) Angel of Music.

Eponine: And I thought I was delusional...

Dr. Rafiya: Remember this is a non- judgemental environment.

Esmerelda: Psh! In what dimension?

Dr. Rafiya: Let's just say your, Angel, turns out to be a man living in the bottom of the Opera House you're living in, who has a very... "interesting" relationship with you... What would you feel?

Christine: (seething) I see red.

Dr. Rafiya: (puts on protective chemistry goggles) Now count to ten.

Christine: Where did you get your degree exactly?

Dr. Rafiya: Doesn't matter. Now count to ten.

Christine: Will it get me out of here faster? I have a huge performance, in like an hour.

Dr. Rafiya: Whatever, just do it!

Belle: It was off the internet, wasn't it?

Dr. Rafiya: Shut up and do it!

Christine: One, Two, Three, Four-

Eponine: These things never work.

Christine: Five, Six, Seven-

Lucy: This doesn't look too good.

Christine: Eight, Nine, Ten.

Dr. Rafiya: (using Meg as a human shield) How do you feel?

Christine: Better. This stuff actually works, Doc.

Esmerelda: Can we go now?

Dr. Rafiya: Yes... and Christine?

Christine: Hmm?

Dr. Rafiya: You might wanna lessen the music lessons a bit.

Christine: Why?

Dr. Rafiya: No reason.

Christine: (Shrugs and leaves)

Dr. Rafiya: And now to check this eye...

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**Thanks for reading! I made it extra long just for you! **

**P.S. These characters are getting therapy throughout their stories. THERE WILL BE NO SEQUELS! **

**So recap; Each character is experiencing one of these scenarios:**

**-Jekyll and Hyde: The six week period after Jekyll turns into Hyde.**

**-Phantom Of The Opera: Right before "Think Of Me"**

**-Les Miserables: "Look Down, Reprise" in Act Three.**

**-Hunchback of Notre Dame: Quasimodo is preparing to go outside**

**-Beauty and The Beast: (based on the Broadway Version) Belle just lost her freedom**

**So now you know. Just for future references. **

**Please R&amp;R,**

**Soprano**


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